Not Available
by dansunedisco
Summary: [LukeNoah. Oneshot.] It's just another night at the SnyderMayer household.


**Characters:** Luke, Noah. Luke/Noah.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Warnings:** Crack!fic, swearing, sexual situations, future!fic.  
**Summary:** It's just another night at the Snyder-Mayer household.  
**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to their respective owners.  
**  
Author's Note:** I needed to write something happy, because I've only ever written angst for these two. There isn't much context here. Just know that Noah and Luke are happily together. 

---

It was nearing midnight. Noah was desperate for sleep.

Or a blow job.

But, as things were, sleep seemed more likely.

Partly because it was movie night, but mostly because Luke was a little--okay, _a lot_--annoyed with him.

Noah sighed and looked down. Luke was sprawled out on the couch, his head pillowed by Noah's lap, his legs hanging over the arm of the couch. A bowl of popcorn was carefully balanced on his stomach; they'd only had the crap kind of popcorn Noah hated to eat that night, but Luke had refused to go out to buy the _good stuff _and made it anyway. He'd munched until only a handful of popcorn goodness was left, giving Noah a smug look whenever he caught Noah glaring at him.

Noah could have sworn Luke had bought the box of popcorn on purpose, to use on movie nights where they were sort-of, pretty-much in a fight.

Noah wanted to shift a little, or tell Luke that he wanted to crash, but he hadn't the heart to shove Luke off him. He wasn't the _cruel one _in the relationship. It melted--melted!--his heart to see that Luke was so wrapped up in _A Streetcar Named Desire. _But sooner or later he'd have to movie. The couch they'd bought together (except not really, because Luke had picked it out and _coerced _Noah into agreeing. Not that Noah complained much, however: the couch seemed to be some strange fetish area for Luke these days) barely fit the both of them. Comfortably, at least.

Noah had a feeling Luke chose their current position on purpose, too.

Sometimes Noah thought Luke was too smart for his own good.

But, sometimes, Noah liked to be the trophy boyfriend.

When the credits started rolling, and Noah thought his thigh would never stop tingling painfully, Luke grabbed the popcorn bowl and marched into the kitchen.

Noah felt a headache coming on.

Luke spun around and smacked his hands down on the kitchen's island. "Repeat after me: Oakdale's a pretty small town."

Even if Luke was turning him on right now, _a lot,_ Noah never liked being cornered into saying something he didn't believe in. He scowled.

"Hmmm. I don't think so." Noah made a show of thinking deeply into the subject. "A small town with its own university, industrial district, and not to mention dozens of stores and clubs? Not my ideal description of quaint."

"That doesn't matter," Luke cried. "The basic principle behind small towns is that everyone knows everyone else. Everyone in Oakdale knows everyone else! Their dirty laundry, their secrets. Hell, they know my gossip before _I _even know it."

Noah rolled his eyes. "Until you've lived in a town that's approximately a mile long each way, you don't know nosy. One time I was buying groceries at one end of town and, by the time I'd reached the other end--a walk that took about five minutes, mind you--Mrs. Bogglesworth already knew I'd purchased Men's Health."

"For the articles, right?" Luke scoffed, but Noah could tell his will was breaking.

It had been a stupid argument, anyway. But sometimes they argued over the little things, like popcorn and town size. Noah sometimes thought that Luke only instigated their little spats because of the make-up sex. Noah was perfectly happy with the sex, but he'd rather skip the arguments all together. Bringing this motion up with Luke seemed like a very good idea indeed.

"Do you think I got these pecs just by looking at pictures of them?" Noah said, infusing his words with as much innuendo as possible.

He got up from the couch and shook his leg out when Luke didn't snap back at him. He walked over to the island deliberately slow, giving Luke a tentative smile all the while. He wrapped his hands around Luke's wrists and tugged them up to kiss the pulse points. Left wrist first, then the right. Luke rolled his eyes, but it was clearly obvious he was giving in.

It would just take one more step to get his well-earned checkmate.

Noah swirled his tongue around Luke's inner wrist, slowly. Luke drew in a sharp breath.

_Noah: 1. Luke: 0. _

Noah let Luke pull his hand back. "She was a very sweet lady."

Luke blinked at him, his head jerking back a little. The way it always did when he didn't have a fucking clue what was going on. "Who?"

"Mrs. Bogglesworth."

Luke looked at him strangely, eyebrows furrowed. "She's real?"

"Well, I can imagine that she'd still be alive _now_, but yeah."

"And her name was Mrs. Bogglesworth."

"Now that I think about it, her name _might _have actually been Mrs. Anderson."

"Mrs. Anderson to Mrs. Bogglesworth?" Luke said, incredulous. "Honestly?"

"Luciano to Luke? Honestly?" Noah knew he was a step away from sleeping on the couch, so he slid around the island and wrapped his arms around Luke's waist. He ran his hands up and down Luke's back, pressing strong fingers into the spots that'd never failed before. When Luke was sufficiently relaxed, he inched his hands down and grabbed Luke's ass, ground their hips together.

Luke moaned. Loudly.

_Noah: 2. Luke: 0. _

He pressed his mouth to Luke's, starting off slowly and sweetly. A kiss to the mouth, at the corner, right below the ear; Noah knew how Luke liked it, and he _knew _he was pushing all the right buttons. Soon Luke was opening his mouth, letting out little gasp-moans, and Noah was dipping his tongue inside, pulling Luke closer.

"I'm really, really hard right now," Noah moaned. He dipped his hips, to show some proof. Just in case Luke didn't believe him. Or something.

Luke licked the shell of his ear, whispered back, "And I think Oakdale is really, really small."

Noah stepped back with a groan. "That's unfair, Luke. Right now, that--that was below the belt. Like, not in the way I want 'below the belt'. Can't we just have sex, forget about your weird misconceptions of size and move on with our lives?"

"No, because this is clearly a problem in our relationship!" Luke hooked his thumbs through Noah's belt loops and pulled him back. "And until we learn to discuss these issues--"

"You just want me to say that you're right," Noah said, exasperated.

Luke placed kisses all along Noah's neck and collarbone. "And I'm not?"

Noah sighed and weighed his options: Sex or no sex.

It really wasn't much of a difficult choice.

"You're always right," he finally said.

Luke's lips curved into another smug smile. "I knew you'd see the light."

---

_End. _


End file.
